The Downside of Sobriety: The 6 Things No One Tells You Might Happen If You Quit Drinking

It’s not like you’ll get drunk from a candle that’s (inexplicably) scented like “wine country.” But that’s not the point. It could never work, but it still hurts to know they’re gone. Even if they were shitty or abusive, there’s still a part of you that’s hung up and wishes there was a way to make it work. When it seems like all you want to do is forget, to go get high or drunk and be gone, if only for a few moments, remember what addiction’s cost you. Remember what life was like when every moment was chaos and unmanageable. Remember how family and friends wouldn’t return calls or didn’t trust to leave you alone.

Sitcoms That Knew When It Was Time To Quit (And The Ones That Didn’t)

From being outside sweaty, running around and playing with bugs in the mud, to laughing at farts (I still do that) and wrestling with your friends. There is such a calm presence with children because they haven’t yet been mentally affected by themselves. They don’t care about yesterday or tomorrow.

Seek Support

Nobody wants to party with the Ghost of Christmas Future. I didn’t want to be one of those weird sober people. I was so afraid of being “single” that I stayed in a shitty “relationship.” And honestly, it could have gotten much worse for me. And who knows, Alcoholics Anonymous it could still get worse.

It’s more common for a normal person to become a problem drinker than for a glassy-eyed nightmare to effortlessly evolve into someone who has a glass of Sauvignon Blanc with dinner. Because of that, you start to calcify your routines around alcohol, and you lose track of what’s fun besides drinking. It makes you give less of a shit about what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, and whether any of it is healthy or safe. It also blurs your perception of time, and can even cause blackouts, where you’re conscious but have no memory of what’s happening. When you’re feeling down, seek out support from friends and family to help keep you sane and from slipping into old behaviors. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and let people know that you’re having a hard time.

The Days Feel Insanely Long

It’s nuts how many of us have been through something in that lovely neighborhood of the human experience. It conflicts with how I feel about consent to say that I don’t want to get drunk anymore so that I’m less likely in that situation again, but here we are. In a way, these panicked cartoons have a point. Alcoholism usually gets progressively worse, and as it does, it’s harder to cut back.

Plus, your antidepressants can’t make you any less depressed if you’re ingesting large amounts of depressants every day. Again, to alcoholics, drinking is obviously the funnest and only fun thing you can do. But tough shit, you have to approximate that chemical high with legitimately good experiences. Often-times in recovery, being sober seems to be the aim. Yes, it is a crucial and a fundamental part (the beginning aspect) of starting the journey to full scale “recovery,” but the independent process of avoiding drugs and alcohol is nowhere near true freedom. It’s normal to feel actual heartache, sob for hours, order yourself takeout twice in one day, and eat ice cream while watching garbage rom-coms.

Treatment Facilities

It’s just hard to explain to people that you’re going to be useless for a few weeks because you have actual love for gin. And when I couldn’t seem to get ready in time, or when my purse was a tangle of wadded keys and gum wrappers I felt so bereft. One of the easiest ways to forget your own problems is to give back to people less fortunate than yourself. When you’re feeling low, instead of sitting at home in isolation feeling sorry for yourself, get up and head to the local soup kitchen or veteran’s association. Spend time focused on someone other than yourself and your own situation won’t seem so bad. When you’re in early recovery, even good days can be tough.

What the fuck do you do with that information?
And you’ll remember what you’ve got to fight for.
And who knows, it could still get worse.
It is not the mere fact that I am away from mind-altering substances, but it is because of the spiritual actions that can free my mind from itself.

She later mentioned that she hadn’t had a drink in almost a decade. Yes, but also, it’s usually the case that fresh faces are sober faces. People who’ve never dipped their toes into non-alcoholic waters probably have no clue how different the rules are for sobriety depending on your gender. Lots of women get sober for reasons that aren’t really talked about in the general conversation about sobriety. It’s Neo taking the red pill and realizing, “Oh shit, I need to stop taking so many pills from strangers.” So you lost your job and it wasn’t your fault.

But complaining about it not being fair, and focusing on the injustice of it all will just make you feel down and make you more likely to fall deeper into the “poor me” trap. Here’s how to stay sober, and sane, when life sucks. Even though breakups, job losses, and an unexpected death of a friend or family member, can be devastating, they will all happen at some point.

What the fuck do you do with that information? You seemed like a regular person to them. (Or being sober sucks so they say? Who knows if they’re telling the truth?) Sarah Hepola has a whole book on the subject, and when I was still drinking, I really fucking hated hearing what she had to say. After having similar experiences, I still really don’t know what to do with that information, but I get it. I so get it, and most sober women I’ve talked to do, too.

And depressingly, sexual assault and murky consent is a big factor at play for women who abstain from alcohol. Being drunk makes you less able to control who you spend time with and what those people get to do to your boundaries. Sometimes they’re out-and-out creeps who target incoherent women, but a lot of the time, it’s in more of a gray area. It’s fucking terrifying to suddenly become conscious in the middle of sex, especially if Blackout-You has a very laissez-faire policy about condoms.